Submission by: Sukhpreet Janda, OMSIII
The term imposter syndrome has come to seem like the perfect definition of me. Rotations, as amazing and rewarding as they have been, bring forth feelings of insecurity and self-doubt more than I had ever imagined. Sometimes I don’t even know if I am capable of being a doctor. Getting the pimp questions wrong, pronouncing procedure names incorrectly, and just plain making a fool of myself in front of the residents and attendings makes it seem like I learned nothing in the past three years correctly.
While deep down I know these feelings do not define me or my ability to practice medicine, it can be hard to overcome them and move forward. I first read this poem in high school, and it has stuck with me since. This poem helps me overcome the fear associated with imposter syndrome. I’ve been told by countless peers, friends, and family, that I sell myself short. Most of this is out of fear, as the poem below illustrates. If we do not address imposter syndrome, we start to limit ourselves in applying to residences, promotions, and most of all, providing the best care for out patients. If I am not confident in myself, how will I provide the best care and empathy for my patients, why would they listen to someone who seems frightened all the time? Our fears are as Marianne Williamson says below:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Reciting this poem during rotations, and sharing it with other students, residents, and attendings has helped more than just me. It has taught us all to acknowledge the fear and self-doubt, and create strategies to make ourselves stronger from that. Here’s some strategies I’ve used throughout the year to help:
- Collect all your positive memories and experiences in some way, shape, or form.
For me, this has been through pictures, notes from patients and colleagues, and writings. When I feel down, I look back at all the people’s lives I’ve had some sort of impact in. It really helps lift your mood and strive to provide better care and impact more patients positively.
- Have a support system ready.
For me, this has been my friends. We studied for 4 years together. We know each other’s strengths and weaknesses very well. When a stressful or doubtful situation arises, you can rest assured that I will call my best friend ASAP and talk about how I’m feeling. And it doesn’t take but 5-10 minutes for him to remind me why I’m here and reinforce all the positive aspects I bring to medicine.
- Tell yourself, many many times, QUESTIONS aren’t BAD!
This is a big one for me. I feel that if I ask a question, I’ll just sound dumb because everyone probably knows the answer already. Don’t every feel like that! When you truly don’t understand something, just ask. You will learn a lot more overall and you would be surprised how much it helps when you later go in to speak to your patients. You develop a better understanding and can engage your patients on a much deeper level.
- Sit and talk to your patients.
It can sometimes be annoying, okay really annoying, when your attending only assigns you 1-2 patients THE WHOLE DAY. You think, seriously, what I am going to learn from 1-2 patients. I want to see more, learn more. While we cannot always change this, we can make the most out of the opportunity. What I learned is, when I have free time after rounds and when I just don’t feel like studying, I go check up on my patients. I sit with them and just listen to them talk. Sometimes it’s about their illness, sometimes their grandkids, sometimes its how bad hospital food is and how good mom’s cooking really is, sometimes its keeping them company during hemodialysis. It seems like nothing to us, but for our patients, it means the WORLD. Seriously. They light up when you sit and talk to them. And you learn about their lives, which can help understand their condition more too.
We have worked hard to get here. We are in a demanding and difficult profession. But do not forget, we are healers. It may seem like we have little impact now, but we are on the road to making a place in the hearts of many. Keep going strong, take off that imposter mask and be your true compassionate self!
Daily Dose of Humanities 